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Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Incision and Drainage

You thought I didn't see but
I've lived off of your sidelong glances
I've made your resentment my armor and
Your sneers my weapon of self-destruction
I've nursed from your infected tit for so long
Negativity courses through my veins like blood
Black, thick and oh so sexy
Because all I've ever been is someone else's trash
And all I was ever going to amount to
Is the sum total of the pain and abuse that fell upon your head
And that shit rolls down hill
A diarrhetic waterfall I've drowned in
For a score plus seventeen

But do you want to know the secret of pain?
The moment you stop feeling it
You can start using it
Attracting the beautifully damaged
Moths to my flame
Batting them away when they knock my dick in the dirt
Only to invite them back
Suckling with vampiric tenacity
Drinking from the fount of insanity
Developed through years of your intricate lies
Feeding from the same as a perversion of Namaskar
It's who we are and it's where we're going
And where we've been

A sign that things are going wrong
This can be your sick love song
A verse to slit your wrists by
A goodbye kiss to the pain
Sent with love from me to you
Another attempt to exsanguinate your disease
You thought I didn't see but
Your sidelong glances and resenment
Your sneers and negativity
Are a mirror for your misplaced self-righteousness
Faced with the horror of your own reflection
I drain this abscess of your infection
Until the blood flows red and clear as my introspection

I won't become the thing I hate
Burning from the inside, still so fucking cold
Strangling my throat into silence
With a caress of my skin, welling up inside
Finally free, running down my arm and from my eyes
Salty on my tongue
This bitter taste of victory
I have finally made you warm
With a heart that's become so old
I won't believe this shame
As I watch you wither, blister, and burn
Peeling back the flesh at last revealing
The monster of my nightmares

After all this time
Running from so much
And hiding just like you taught me
You have no power over me and
I won't even waste originality
"From hell's heart,
I stab at thee.
For hate's sake,
I spit my last breath at thee"
Because my verse is free
And now
Facing a reflection of my own beauty
So am I

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