Set Fire to the Ocean

A stirring in my gut
A nervous bleeding in my brain
I don't want to go
Not into that good night
Nor an ocean of wisdom and learned kindness
Such is the mark of age
The first steps of death as
The body wrinkles and withers
The fire of former greatness
A nova to a black hole
Trapped in the core of the shell of what once was
The only thing free in this world is verse
Verses that flow through my veins
Dripping sweat from my brow
Verses that erupt from my cock
Cumming to inseminate this audience
With an idea
I'm a free man.
Not to be silenced.
Not to be caged.
Less than what was
More than what is
Lost between here and there
Floating in an ocean of wisdom and learned kindness
The idea takes shape
And it becomes a reality
It is better to burn out
Than to fade away
But one does not simply set fire to the ocean.

The L Word

Love you to death
Love you too
Love you til it hurts
Love you madly
Love will conquer all
Love will come to you
Love walks in
Love to be loved
Love thing
Love theme
Love that conquers
Love that burns
Love stinks
Love song for my mom
Love song
Love sneakin' up on you
Love sick
Love shoulda brought you home
Love should
Love shines
Love shack
Love sets you free
Love runs deeper
Love ridden
Love rescue me
Love removal machine
Love reign o'er me
Love potion # 9
Love pledge and the arena
Love out me
Love on your side
Love on the rocks
Love on the air
Love of my life
Love needs a heart
Love nation sugarhead
Love my way
Love me two times
Love me tender
Love me like music, I'll be your song
Love me like a man
Love me just leave me alone
Love me do
Love me
Love machine, part one
Love lovely love
Love like we do
Love like rockets
Love like a bomb
Love letters
Love it or leave it alone
Love is the seventh wave
Love is the drug
Love is stronger than justice
Love is strange
Love is not enough
Love is like a river
Love is here to stay
Love is dangerous
Love is blindness
Love is a rose
Love is a deserter
Love is a blind ambition
Love is a battlefield
Love is
Love in vein
Love in store
Love in an elevator
Love in a vacuum
Love, I don't need it anymore
Love hurts
Love her madly
Love her
Love has no pride
Love hangover
Love gets me every time
Love from here, love from there
Love for sale
Love dump
Love comes tumbling
Love child
Love changes
Love buzz
Love bug
Love bites
Love and sharks
Love and peace ... or else
Love and happiness
Love and anger
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love

All That is Gold

I woke up with the sun
Only to find no beauty in it's rising.
Instead I feel its fire
Burning in my chest
Reminding me
There is no beauty
Greater than the rise and fall of your chest beside me
Rhythmically meditative
Calming a beast caged inside my heart

I put pen to paper
Only to find no words in the writing
Instead I speak the words
Letting them pass through me
Reminding me
There is no declaration
Greater than the act of touching your lips with mine
Passionately conjoining
Filling a hole inside me that I never knew existed

I swallowed a pill
Only to find no healing in its medicine
Instead I feel its robbery
Twisting and changing my very essence
Reminding me
There is no healing
Greater than your embrace
Lovingly protecting
Saving me from the demons of my own soul

I built a house
Only to find no shelter under its roof
Instead I feel caged in its walls
Leaving nothing but captivity in perpetuity
Reminding me
There is no home
Greater than the place in your heart where I live
Pleasantly enclosing
Reminding me I am never alone

My Last, First Kiss

The moon was big in the sky
With a breeze fanning my flames
On the night of my last, first kiss.
And if I had known
I might have paid more attention
The the way the stars aligned
On the night of my last, first kiss.
But at the time
All I wanted was to feel
My heart thump the dots and dashes of an S.O.S.
As I fell head over heels
On the night of my last, first kiss

L-Dopa (Borderline II)

El Dopa.

The dope.

That's not a real cognate.
The white queen, my sweet dihydroxyphenyl lover
It creates happiness and excitement and
Eternal mouthless hells where nor-and-regular-epinephrine torment me deservingly.
I am not happy. I can't even tell what's real.
The trite saying that love is a drug is true to members of my club
Holding meetings where anyone who gets off on adulation and attachment and access and ass and adrenaline and adultery are welcome.

Darling delicious Dopamine.
Somehow I've convinced two dozen men to sleep with me and dozens of women to waste their time on me.
My relationship with them reflects on me worse and on them better.
Often misleading, or irresistibly mysterious,
Mean polarized with nice.
Something about me has an allure.
Not incredibly attractive yet consistently handsome
The intricate push-pull of my vacillating attachments puts screws in people's hearts.

I'm exactly as painful as I sound.
I'm sorry.
I hate myself more than you hate me, though.
You can go away, now, just like everyone else.
Everything is temporary anyway. Leave me alone.
I'm a borderline personality and
I expect you to hate me for it.
But that sounds like it's not my fault--it is.
Everything is.
And isn't.

I can't pin down anything because my awareness changes in the breeze.
I always thought I won relationships because I didn't screw up.
When I disguise my win as a loss because there's so little of me there in the first place
If someone likes me I'm filled in with their bathroom mirror selfie and
I'm a whiteboard for a misguided subconscious desire for perfection
I'm perfect sometimes but I'm often ugly and I hate how badly I need your approval.
I'm broken and even trying to reassemble the mirror gives me glass slivers.
I'm double-business bound:Too good for hell and too bad for heaven
I'm simply who I am.
Just like you.

Closure

My old man taught me
Closure is in the bottom of a bottle.
He said,
Son, women don't feel love like men.
They manipulate, lie and bleed you dry.
My momma taught me
Closure is in never promising anything and
Never staying anywhere for too long
Because its always important to know
Where you're coming from
30 years down and I learned my lessons well;
I bounced from place to place
And bed to bed on my way to become a man
With a moral compass that doesn't always point north
Ever since my first baby momma taught me
Closure is in another man's balls and
That one swallow can ruin a marriage
And turn a family into a broken home.
In the end, nothing else matters
As long as my kid is made of rubber
With a bounce back that erases all my mistakes
So I can sleep at night
My head so full of dreams
Borm from the regrets I never wanted
After my second wife taught me
Closure is in the honesty
After it's been twisted and
Sharpened to a poisoned point
All to make sure the truth won't set me free
But rather shackle me to the whimsy of madness
Maybe my old man was right after all
Now that the bottom of the bottle taught me
Closure is in a line
White, on the bathroom sink tomorrow morning
With my head pounding the rhythm
Of the headboard
Smacking the wall
Of last night's mistake
And I tell myself I just need a little something
To make it through the day
Running from the voice in my head
Screaming shame, reminding me
With choice comes consequence
With love comes hate
With getting real, comes acceptance.
Because it was my husband who taught me
Closure is in breaking cycles
Being different is what separates man from beast
And sloppy seconds taste best when served used
Which leaves the moral of the story:
Life is life.
Closure is in learning to live it. 

Dinner Date

He picked me up at 7
Just like he said
All slicked back hair, shirt and tie
Perfect gentleman
Object of my desire
I couldn't seem to move
My breath a gasp
That caught in my throat
Held by the heroic heart in his chest
Saving the damsel from falling
At this Muse's feet
Because I will be who I am
All words, emotion and superciliousness
I will not be dictated to, controlled or held back
With the muse ready and willing as the
Vivid vessel for my viscid viscera
I will lay myself out here
Moral for your propriety
Naked for your pleasure
On a line that is so blurred
It's almost as invisible
As a line of coke
Snorted off my cock
But I digress

He drove me to Distraction
The favored diner for the preposterously psychotic
Perfect gentleman
Object of my creativity
I couldn't seem to speak
Because I will not move, bend or break
Here in the auspices of such company
The art will take control
The muse will stand on the table
And shout depraved and shameful desires
A test of the mettle for the most eager
Who will listen? Who has the balls?
And who will answer back
Climbing to meet him
I move as poetry with arms and legs
To lay down with him and whisper back
I want you inside me
Please come inside me
Grab this muse by the scrote
Just to pull him in
And he'll love every thrust
Until it all explodes in inked cum stains on the page
A Jackson Pollock of dark secrets laid bare
Before his broken promise to always be there
Cracked open, fragmented as the mind of
This musing Madman

And in the end
It will be me that is left standing
Boot atop the spent, exhausted muse
Fist clenched and ready to battle
Allegory, Alliteration, Simile and Verse
Because I will be who I am
All words, emotion and superciliousness
I will not be dictated to, controlled or held back
With the Muse ready and willing
I will lay myself out here
Armed with more words than can be spoken
I am my own muse.
Shirt and tie. Bearded smile
Object of your desire
Ready to catch you by the breath I grabbed from your throat
Nightmares playing reel to reel between your ears
Now I lay you down to sleep
Hear the depraved and shameful desires
That make you want me inside you
Walking through dreams from which you'll never wake
Waiting. Watching. Whispering.
I am God here
You will worship me.