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Friday, September 14, 2012


I hate that song.
The one that used to be my favorite
Only now it just reminds me of you
Like your lingering scent on my pillow that just won't wash out
Or the phantom of your lips
on my lips
Words so soulful remind me of
That weekend
You said you'd do anything with me
And I said I'd let you.
Because I didn't know it was all going to go so wrong for you
While I was just dying to believe in what I'd heard
Now I hear that song
And it's still my favorite sometimes
Only now it comes with baggage
And I'm carrying so many already
I just don't know how I can handle my escape plan, my safe space, this melodic requiem
To become as heavy as the bags full of dad's empties, full of mom's judgement,
Full of parental guilt and full of my fight or flight
You see, that song, it was something I shared with you
It wasn't something for you to take with you when you stopped calling
Leaving it as all I have to remind me of the hope I felt.
So I'll take the song back please.
And I'll put it in the empty spot I'd made
In my heart, for you to live
Because, you see
I love that song
The one that's my favorite because it reminds me of you.

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