How to Operate With a Broken Heart

I'm trying to find the words
Or a way to explain what's in my heart
All the feels piled on top of me
Pinned under their weight, I couldn't breathe
Until this crack in my chest opened to a chasm
And I stood up feeling numb.
The real fuck of it is
The world looks the same and nothing's changed
Just a slight tint from my eyes that makes everything look just a little blue
So I just put one foot in front of the other with a smile
Walking through an unchanged world that doesn't give a damn
Inside I'll ask "what about me?" and "what about my plans?"
Then I'll choke back that sob and keep walking
Keep smiling
Because nothing's changed.
It's the end of the road
And I still got bills to pay
I still got to eat and sleep and work and dream
With this mask upon my face
Stepping one foot in front of the other with a smile
Passing all the faces that taught me what it is to sonder
Don't you know this hurt?
Can't you feel this pain?
Fuck no they don't care
Why would they give one fuck when
I can't wake up in the morning feeling happy or
How I cry myself to sleep every night because the nightmares just won't stop and
There's fear bleeding out from under the bed and coming out of every closet
And I'm trying to find the words
A way to explain what's in my heart
Just to show you, to show me, to show everything
I got ulcers in my belly all from worry
My back is out and I can't stand up carrying all this weight
It hurts here in my chest
All the way to my soul
Drowning in a river of tears that only flows inside until everything is just a little blue
Because nothing's changed
And the world still don't give a damn
So the mask smiles when I can't
And I'll walk through day after day
Until I stand up and feel numb
Because the real fuck of it is
The right words only matter when there's someone to listen

Time Squared

I took my gaze off of myself
The day you were born

The day we met
My future became our future

I smiled more than ever
Because I knew I’d never be alone

I’ve watched you grow
With fascination, admiration and adulation

All I want
Is to see your future

To honor your wish
In seeing love unfettered, held only for you

I’ve learned
Through your teachings

With time
All things will change

Dancing At Night

They danced in the moonlight
A seductive waltz in traditional triple time
With bodies speaking in the language of sensual seduction
And the Earth opened beneath their feet
Welcoming them to the cosmos
As they danced and danced
Into the eyes of nebulae
Through event horizons and
Past the absolute magnitude of the stars
They danced through the night
In the blackness of the sky
Over the darkness of the ocean at nighttide
With eyes connected through knowing glances
Soft secrets shared only between lovers
Partners to a dance stepped out in time
Two hearts beating as one
And in the chill of the morning
They held each other close and
Oh so tight
Fearing the love they’d found dancing in the night
Would evaporate in the harsh light of the morning

Soul Tree

Awake again.
Alive in perpetuity,
Alone in purgatory
Chained to the hard floor.
 A shadow cast aside;
Left behind in the light.
Standing in the skin of a wolf;
Old bones collected in a haggard hide.
Still covering up your scars?
Hiding the real skin?
It bleeds beneath the spit in your eye.
Bruises on your neck,
Frantically glue together
Every rule over broken.
Desperate for the maudlin dream of yesterday,
A seedy, macarbre facsimile of what was;
Old when it was new.

Which pill will you take
To quell the voice speaking truth?
A light in the dark.